When I began my healing journey I didn’t even know what a Narcissist was…my concept of Domestic Violence and Abuse was like a bar fight, broken bones, black eyes and bloody wounds. I had no idea I was suffering from emotional and psychological abuse from an intimate partner. I didn’t yet know I had married a malignant Narcissist, had a “best” friend who is a covert Narcissist, and a mother who is likely a grandiose Narcissist.

Back then I felt so confused, it was so hard to just think coherently. I wasn’t really sure who I was anymore. I didn’t know these were symptoms of complex PTSD from years of gaslighting, silent treatment and stonewalling – the cycle of emotional and psychological abuse perpetrated by the people closest to me.

I went through months of post separation abuse, flying monkeys’ harassment, a massive smear campaign and betrayal. I didn’t realize that if the Narcissist couldn’t control me anymore, that he would try to control the narrative about me. He told anyone who would listen that I was crazy, including my mother. She believed him, she colluded with him and refused to believe me. For my own healing, I have accepted this and let go of the idea that someday she will believe me. This toxic hope was the notion that she would be supportive and show me compassion or concern – that she would love me unconditionally…because I realized that was never there to begin with and she wasn’t ever going to change. This was the beginning of my healing journey…slowly learning to accept what had happened to me and realizing it wasn’t ever because of me, it wasn’t my fault.

I researched about narcissism for months, I almost felt I had a psychology degree on Narcissism by the time I reached the end of the ruminating stage! I had devoured anything I could find on what a Narcissist was, how they behave, why they do what they do…and then I found a trauma recovery coaching program, by a woman named Caroline Strawson. I could relate to everything she was saying! I suddenly didn’t feel so alone and saw a light ahead, a seed of hope was planted that I could heal from this and grow. I invested in myself and my future. I wanted to heal my wounds and help others heal too. I wanted to share my mistakes and learnings to help other survivors avoid the pitfalls I stumbled through. I wanted other survivors to know: I see you, I hear you, you are not alone and what happened is not your fault!

What I have learned through my training is that each person’s healing journey is as unique as each individual and our nervous systems are doing an amazing job keeping us alive through the trauma. Healing from narcissistic trauma is possible, my life has been transformed by healing my nervous system and my attachment wounds from childhood.

Time and talking about the trauma doesn’t work, in fact it can traumatize you more in most cases! I work with clients to heal the trauma where it is stored in the body – this is called somatic work, and its life changing. Join my FREE and PRIVATE FaceBook group to learn more about how you can heal from the wounds of narcissistic trauma.